If you’re in a long-term relationship, you likely recognise this phenomenon instantly.
Kanye West and his second wife, Bianca Censori, were recently spotted having a dinner date at a restaurant in Tokyo on Tuesday night, just ahead of their second wedding anniversary in December.
However, the 47-year-old rapper-turned-designer and his 29-year-old Yeezy Head of Architecture appeared to be a bit bored during the outing.
Censori was slumped over the table, scrolling on her phone. West looked zoned out, and he rested his head on his hand and watched on.
It’s a familiar scene that anyone with a long-term partner can relate to, especially if you live with them and see them all day, every day.
Every so often, you decide to break the monotony of your usual routine of waking up, going to work, coming home, having dinner, and watching TV, by initiating a ~Date Night~.
You might lament to your partner that you haven’t “connected” in a while, hoping that browsing an overpriced menu filled with house-made focaccia and whipped anchovy butter could rekindle the spark you once had.
But when you finally get to the restaurant and find yourselves seated slightly too far apart in a noisy, dimly lit room, you may realise you don’t have particularly much to say to each other, which creates an awkward tension.
Ironically, the fact you are so comfortable with one another and know each other so well has somehow managed to dull special moments like this.
This can lead to you both acting like versions of yourselves that feel somewhat forced as you try to present your most charming self to someone who knows all your quirks – from your bathroom schedule to your habit of overfilling the recycling bin and hoping the other person will take it out, to pull a completely random, non-self-incriminating example out of thin air ...
These dynamics can result in stilted conversation, as you both aim to avoid discussing mundane household things and instead, try and engage in conversation you think you should be having on these sorts of occasions.
By the time dinner rolls around, you may find you have little that’s “new” or “exciting” to share since your partner has witnessed your day in its entirety, and if they’re lucky enough, every one of your innermost and passing thoughts.
Also, the added expectation you’ve both put on the night does little to help, meaning that even if the disappointment is palpable between you both, neither of you wants to acknowledge it out of fear of breaking the fourth wall.
In the case of Censori and West, they’ve been living in Tokyo for the past few months, moving between luxury hotels, meaning there’s also the holiday factor at play here.
Anyone who has travelled with a partner knows that dinner conversations abroad can be even less exhilarating than dates at home.
You’re typically joined at the hip, sharing every experience in close quarters without the usual break of going to work during the day.
Come night-time, you may find yourselves with even fewer topics and personal anecdotes to talk about. Add tiredness or jet lag into the mix and you’re in for a riveting time.
Now, there could be various other explanations for their situation.
Perhaps they just had a fight, given the reports their relationship might be on the rocks, but didn’t want to cancel their dinner reservation in fear of the potential $50 cancellation fee. Considering their recent $35 million mansion purchase in Beverly Hills, it’s unlikely.
It’s also possible that they were simply snapped during a brief lull in their otherwise animated dinner.
Maybe their sashimi was taking longer than expected and Censori wanted to quickly check her phone for any articles about her latest wardrobe malfunction (there’s one here, Bianca.)
Regardless of the reason for the glum faces, if a pap were to follow most couples around, they would likely capture many candid, less-than-flattering moments that could be easily misinterpreted.
If one were to follow my partner and I around, they might catch him rolling his eyes as I optimistically attempt to reverse park in a space that’s too small.
They might also witness me playfully swatting a block of Lindt out of his hand in the supermarket as I remind him that “we’re trying to save for a house!” He would then snap back at me and say, “Well, if it comes down to a block of chocolate, we have bigger problems to deal with.”
The point is, if the press happened to be lurking in that particular Coles last Thursday night, they would undoubtedly fuel headlines like “Couple’s cost-of-living dilemma sparks heated supermarket spat” and let’s be honest, I would probably write about it (meta!)
But in reality, we’re just a very normal couple and one photo taken in a second can’t accurately reflect our relationship.
Okay, perhaps just slightly – one of us does have a hidden sweet tooth he’s yet to fully admit to – but that is all.
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