Jimmy Kimmel: Republicans ‘working very hard to capitalize’ on Charlie Kirk’s killing

Late-show hosts recap Donald Trump’s chilly reception in the UK, his corrupt business deals with the UAE and Maga’s fearmongering around the “radical left”.

Jimmy Kimmel

On Monday night, Trump became the first US president to sue the New York Times, for defamation to the tune of $15bn. “Where does he even come up with this?” wondered Jimmy Kimmel on Tuesday evening. “These are like numbers my children make up when they’re talking about money.”

“I thought he said the New York Times was failing,” he added. “He thinks they have $15bn? How much would he sue for if he thought they were doing well?”

“He won’t win this. The New York Times won’t settle,” Kimmel noted. “Besides how ridiculous it is, this might be one of the funniest legal documents I’ve ever seen. It’s quite a tongue bath.” One page lists Trump’s “hundreds of history-making appearances” including WrestleMania V, All My Children, Ghosts Can’t Do It, Two Weeks Notice, the Miss America pageants and “much more”.

“This is quite a resume,” Kimmel deadpanned. “You know he met Melania on 90 Day Fiance.”

Meanwhile, “many in Maga-land are working very hard to capitalize on the murder of Charlie Kirk”. On Monday, JD Vance, who once called Trump “America’s Hitler”, hosted Kirk’s podcast from the White House and blamed the left, without evidence. Said Vance: “While our side of the aisle certainly has its crazies, it is a statistical fact that most of the lunatics in American politics today are proud members of the far left.”

“And by ‘statistical fact’, he means ‘complete bullshit’,” Kimmel corrected. In fact, the Department of Justice removed from its website a study finding that violence from far-right groups is the greatest source of domestic terror and extremist violence in the US. “Here’s a question JD Vance might be able to answer: who wanted to hang the guy who was vice president before you?” Kimmel said. “Was that the liberal left? Or the toothless army who stormed the Capitol on January 6.”

“The president and his henchmen are doing their best to fan the flames, so they can I guess attack people on the dangerous left,” Kimmel added, noting the incongruence with the right’s former vision of so-called “snowflake” liberals. “Which is it?” he wondered. “Are they a bunch of sissy pickleball players because they’re too scared to get hit by tennis balls? Or are they a well-organized army of commandos? Because they can’t be both.”

Stephen Colbert

On the Late Show, Stephen Colbert celebrated the show’s first Emmy win for outstanding variety talk series with their trophy on stage. “Man, I’m telling you, we should’ve gotten cancelled years ago,” he joked.

“This award belongs to all 200 of the incredibly hardworking people who make this show,” he said. “First and foremost, the writers of this show” as well as the “stage crew, production staff, talent, segment editors, the band, control room, props, graphics, research, footage, digital, accounting, legal, wardrobe, makeup, security, maintenance, assistants and interns”.

“And, of course, the audience department who let in all of you gorgeous people every night,” he added. “You are the ones who ultimately make this show possible. So this belongs to you, but I’m going to keep it.”

“Speaking of Emmys, Donald Trump doesn’t have one,” he continued. “Also, right now, he’s out of the country, making his second state visit to the UK. But for a state visit, Trump is going to be keeping it surprisingly low profile.” The President will stay behind closed doors at Windsor Castle, far from massive planned protests and without delivering a traditional address to potential critics in Parliament. Still, protesters managed to unfurl a giant banner on the castle lawn with an old picture of Trump and his friend Jeffrey Epstein.

“What are they going to do with it after Trump’s state visit?” Colbert wondered. “‘Children, we have a donation of a very unfortunate parachute for today’s gym class.’”

While he’s there, Trump will be treated to an opulent banquet at Windsor Castle and a carriage ride through the grounds. “Oh, the pageantry!” Colbert joked. “He’s just like Cinderella, but good luck slipping the glass slipper on those cankles.”

Seth Meyers

And on Late Night, Seth Meyers recapped a New York Times investigation into how the Trump family made $2bn in cryptocurrency deals with the UAE, in exchange for giving the Emirati government access to advanced AI chips. “Who am I to say that these two things are connected?” Meyers joked. “It’s totally possible that Donald Trump Sr was negotiating the chips deal while Donald Trump Jr was negotiating the crypto deal, and they had no idea until it was time to sign the contract, and then they both showed up at the same restaurant at the same time and said ‘Don, what are you doing here?’”

“This is obviously, ludicrously corrupt,” he said. When a reporter asked Trump on Tuesday about his business deals, Trump pivoted to “what has recently become his favorite topic”: the new White House ballroom, which Trump said “will knock your socks off”.

“Stop talking about the fucking ballroom!” Meyers begged. “No one gives a shit about the ballroom. Prices are skyrocketing and our freedoms are disappearing all around us, and you’re going on about a ballroom like a fop from Dangerous Liaisons.”

“You think the farmers in Iowa who voted for you are sitting down for coffee at their local diners saying, ‘well, the tariffs are killing my business, but at least the White House will finally have a place to hold fancy proms?’”

Meyers also mocked Trump for threatening the Australian reporter who asked about the UAE deals with reporting on him to the Australian prime minister during their next visit.

“What a fucking tattletale,” Meyers laughed. “Also you think you’re going to scare an Australian? They live in a country that’s mostly an unlivable desert, they have spiders the size of tennis rackets, but he’s shaking in his boots because you’re going to tell on him?”

Meyers did point out, however, that Trump’s approval rating is at an all-time low. “It might feel like he’s just getting away with all this outlandish corruption and the erosion of our rights while Democrats and the media acquiesce, but most Americans are firmly opposed to this stuff,” he said. “They’re counting down the days until something changes.”