Jayson Williams dishes dirt on ‘satanic’ Michael Jordan, mighty Manute and chunky Charles

On Michael Jordan: “When you went out to the club, you wouldn’t sit with Michael Jordan. He would sit at a table by himself and watch you watch him. He just had that, you know, he was smart enough to keep you drunk so you were tired tomorrow, and keep you away, and keep you scared, and not let you figure him out.”

“He was intimidating. I remember when we went to play him in the playoffs he parked a brand new black Ferrari, about a million dollar car, in front of the locker room. And it was just black. And he wore that black, and he was almost like Satan. He won six championships, you know he made the shot with six seconds left on the clock, he had six MVPs. What’s that, 6-6-6?”

“Honest to God, he was one tough human being, and it was in anything. If you were drinking a beer, if he looked over and your beer was half full and he was three quarters, he’s going to finish his beer first. He’s just got to beat you at everything. He has an addiction to winning.”

On Manute Bol: “They used to let Manute Bol drink the whole time, so he would drink Heinekens all day long to help put on weight,” said Williams, who played his first two NBA seasons alongside Bol as teammates on the Philadelphia 76ers from 1990-92, “so Manute Bol never played sober in one basketball game.”

After a lengthy story about the size of the 7-foot-7 Bol’s privates, Williams added, “He used to put on all his clothes last, so what he would do, after he got out the shower, he would put on his socks and then that was it. And he would just walk around the locker room naked drinking Heinekens.”

Bol was listed at 28 years old when he began playing for the Sixers in 1990, but Williams believes he was actually twice that age. “He used to say that he was 35 years old, but I used to be on the bench looking at all the circles and scars around his head,” explained Williams, “and I asked him one day, ‘Manute, what are those scars on your head?’ And he says, ‘Well, the white man lost my birth certificate in the jungle, so every five years I take a rock and I slice one across my head.’ I was like, ‘All right,’ and then I started looking at it the next game and I said, ‘Holy s —, Manute Bol is 55 years old.’”

On Charles Barkley: “Charles Barkley was probably the strongest man from the bellybutton down. Never would lift the weights, but let me tell you something man. You knew he wasn’t going to win the championship.

On Larry Bird: “He struts back like only Larry Bird can do, looks over the bench and goes, ‘Hey, coach, put the rookie in.’ I was like, ‘Yeah, put me in; you better hope he don’t put me in.’ And then Jimmy [Lynam] goes, ‘Hey, Jay, go get him,’ and I go in. I go, ‘Yeah, what you wanna do? Come at me, baby, let’s go, let’s get it on,’ and he gives me a pump fake, and I jumped clear across his head, and when I come back down, he looks at me and goes, ‘Stupid rookie, c’mon, man,’ and hits a 3-pointer.” Williams claims he honestly considered suicide after Bird dropped a series of 3’s and a dunk on him, adding, “Oh, s —, I got dunked on by a white man who’s at the end of his career. It’s a wrap now.”