The rumours about the Opening Ceremony all suggested the $1.5 billion spectacle was going to blow the world away. The rumours were very wrong.
The rumours about the Opening Ceremony all suggested the $1.5 billion spectacle was going to blow the world away.
Unfortunately the world saw something very different.
The Paris Games officially opened in something that resembled a high school music night recital on Saturday morning (AEST) with athletes somewhat overshadowed by the colourful River Seine spectacle.
More than 9000 athletes are floating down the Olympic host city’s iconic river on a fleet of 85 barges and boats.
It is the first time in history the Summer Games have not been welcomed in with a ceremony inside the official Olympic Stadium.
Instead the athletes have been parading down a 6km stretch of the winding river from the Austerlitz bridge in the east to the Trocadero esplanade, opposite the Eiffel Tower.
You can read a full guide on how to watch the extravaganza here.
Some photos of the Australian team boat show a rather soggy, sombre mood.
There were concerning scenes early when showers did their best to scare the crowd of 300,000 spectators away.
It didn’t really get any better from there.
Perhaps all the $1.5 billion was used on the 45,000 police deployed around the event.
Lady Gaga can’t save sinking ship
After a group of around 20 boats had entered the river field of view, the atmosphere changed when Lady Gaga popped up with a Moulin Rouge inspired performance.
Her black ensemble and bright make-up complexion was juxtaposed by the giant pink feather fans that graced the winding staircase stage.
Speaking French, Gaga performed an interpretation of French classic “Mon truc en plume” with her chorus line dancing around her.
It was not well received by Twitter users.
One angry viewer wrote: “Gaga’s Olympics performance is the worst I’ve seen since Britney’s MTV show in 2007.
“It was the equivalent of defecating on French flag. She insulted America, insulted France, and has no shame whatsoever.”
“This is the most WTF opening ceremony I have ever seen,” another Twitter commentator said.
UK TV producer Jason Reid posted: “I really want the boat thing to work, but let’s be honest - it doesn’t. Weird camera shots, obstructions, lack of atmosphere. It’s giving basic.”
One wrote: “Sorry France, but this river thing isn’t working for me. The endless procession of boats is dull. Even a random Gaga routine from 1967 can’t save it.”
French artist brings fans to their feet
French hip hop artist Aya Nakamura, the most streamed French-speaking performer, took on the assignment of performing with the Republican Guard.
The pop star performed on the Pont des Arts, dazzling in an ensemble of gold.
The scattered performances of 3000 dancers, river monuments and symbolic individual river crossings also left some things to be desired.
“I’m actually embarrassed on the behalf of France, this is going down as the worst opening ceremony in history,” one Twitter commentator posted.
One wrote: “I’m sorry but this has to be the worst Olympic opening ceremony in memory. It’s an interesting idea bringing the athletes in on boats but it looks rubbish and misses the roar of the crowd. Sorry but not for me.”
Another posted: “This may legit be the worst opening ceremony I’ve ever seen. And such a missed opportunity with such an amazing backdrop”.
Rain, rain go away
The dour weather hasn’t helped, but it’s fair to say this is not the display that was originally envisioned.
Athletes were getting wet as soon as they crossed the water curtain at the Austerlitz bridge and the weather got worse and worse as the night progressed.
“I hate to dunk on something that so much work went into but it’s fairly cringe when they show the masked dude running around with the torch and it cuts from pre-recorded bits filmed weeks about in the sunshine to the live feed in the absolute pissings of rain,” one Twitter commentator wrote.
Another posted: “So we’re not getting the athletes walking into a stadium, soaking in the atmosphere, waving their flags, but we have to watch +80 boats slowly floating down the river in the p*ssing rain? Whose idea was this?”
Aussie athletes have to wait
Australia was one of the last teams to begin their journey down the Seine because of the Brisbane 2032 Games putting the country as one of the last in the order.
Australia’s team of 460 athletes have been led up the river by flag bearers Eddie Ockenden and Jess Fox.
Fox is the second paddler to carry the flag following the late Dennis Green who carried the flag at Munich 1972.
Eddie Ockenden is the second hockey Flag Bearer, following in the footsteps of Ric Charlesworth who led the Team at Seoul 1988.
Entertainment spectacle gets crazy
A heavy metal performance by French act Gojira was a dramatic change of pace as the ceremony headed into its second hour.
The spectacle got bigger and bigger with different musical performances, including an orchestral version of a song from the iconic Les Miserables musical.
The show blended French culture and history with the landmarks and architecture of the City of Light taking centre stage.
There were also plenty of random cameos, including “minions” from hit animated film Despicable Me.
As the event progressed fans were more and more beginning to change their tunes.
BBC presenter Kelly Cate said: “The energy has absolutely ramped up. This has been going on for hours and it just feels like the energy levels have not dropped - if anything they’ve picked up.”
Cricket commentator Bharat Sundaresan posted on Twitter: “This has been totally worth waking up for. Such a fun #OpeningCeremony so far. Wonderful story-telling throughout with so many entertaining elements about the history & culture of France. How talented are these artists & performers on show. Wow.”
Paris’s vision is for a more cost-effective and less polluting Olympics than previous editions, with competitions set to take place at historic locations around the capital.
Despite the heavy rain, and a wave of attacks which paralysed France’s high-speed rail network early Friday, chief Games organiser Tony Estanguet said before the ceremony started he was confident of putting on “a great party”.
— with AFP
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