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Things To Never Say To Someone Taking Ozempic

Author: user avatar Editors Desk Source: The Onion::
Jun 04, 2023
Things To Never Say To Someone Taking Ozempic
Though it is not FDA-approved for weight loss, Ozempic, an injectable drug used to treat diabetes, has helped users shit and puke away the pounds. These are things that you should never say to someone taking Ozempic.

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  1. Things To Never Say To Someone Taking Ozempic
  2. “Oh nice! I’m on crack, myself.”
  3. “Don’t worry. No matter what you decide, you’ll always be fat to me.”
  4. “Have you tried loving your body for what it is instead?”
  5. “That commercial makes me want to fucking kill myself.”
  6. “I was the guy who came up with the idea of counting down to the Olsen twins’ 18th birthday.”
  7. “I guess I’ll have to stop playing the tuba to accompany your steps while you’re walking down the street.”
  8. “Aren’t you hungry?”
  9. “Want to watch me eat a steak while you sit there, nauseous?
  10. “And will that fix your personality as well or is that going to stay the same?”
  11. “You still look old, though.”
  12. “I injected Ozempic into my foot once, and it immediately shriveled up and fell off.”
  13. “I’ve never taken Ozempic, and I look great.”
  14. “Well, if you don’t have the appetite to eat the French onion beef casserole I slaved over all day, then you can get the hell out of this house, just like your whore of a brother!”
  15. “Ozempic should be reserved for people with diabetes or a nice hat.”
  16. “Doughboy wants to lose weight, huh? Pillsbury doughboy wants to lose weight? Hey, everyone, Pillsbury doughboy wants to lose weight! Jump up and down and show the people how fat you are. That’s right, jiggle for us, doughboy. You make me sick.”
  17. “Having a corporeal form is overrated.”
  18. “I’m not really sexually interested in you unless you’re over 750 pounds soaking wet.”
  19. You’ve Made It This Far...
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