The Diddy trial details are worse than anyone expected. Will how we treat victims change?

As Sean “Diddy” Combs’ trial continues with its second week of witness testimony, the details of his alleged abuse and violence are disturbing and horrific – and photos and video evidence also back them up. This week, the jury saw videos of the alleged “freak off” parties at the center of the case; and on May 14, prosecutors released the full-length version of a hotel surveillance video that shows Combs’ physically assaulting then-girlfriend Casandra “Cassie” Ventura Fine.

But cases of sexual abuse or domestic violence rarely have a portfolio of photo or video evidence. Abuse can look different in each relationship, and is not always visible, like with emotional abuse and manipulation. 

And while people believe Cassie – the reactions aren’t all supportive. There’s been an outpouring of sympathy, but also a slew of victim-blaming. So, what does how we respond to Diddy’s trial mean for victims of sexual violence when the evidence isn’t so plentiful? 

The way we respond as a community and society to trials like Diddy’s impacts the decisions that survivors make in terms of getting help, leaving abusive situations and speaking out, says Elizabeth L. Jeglic, a clinical psychologist specializing in sexual violence and professor at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice, City University of New York. Sociologist Nicole Bedera also cautions that requiring graphic details to believe a victim’s recount of abuse can also set a dangerous bar for what people consider violent or believable enough to extend sympathy to survivors.

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There's rarely video or photo evidence when victims come forward

In most cases, there are no videos to prove an abuser’s violence. The hard evidence – from photos and videos to numerous witness testimonies – supporting Cassie’s testimony is the “exception, not the rule,” Jelgic says. 

Oftentimes, it takes numerous allegations for the public to change their opinion of an alleged abuser. But Jelgic says it shouldn’t have to get to that point, and that graphic details can also be detrimental to some viewers.

“If survivors are still working through their trauma, being reminded of situations that are similar to the trauma you experienced can reactivate your PTSD symptoms," she previously told USA TODAY. 

And Bedera cautions that graphic recounts can sensationalize sexual violence and raise the bar for what people consider to be violent enough to withdraw their support of a celebrity.

In her research on college sexual violence perpetrators, she found that school officials were less likely to intervene on violence that seemed more ordinary. “They would say things like, ‘He’s no Harvey Weinstein,’” she previously told USA TODAY.

Abuse can happen to anyone – regardless of their personality, actions or responses – and can look different in each incident or relationship. We often want to believe we'll be able to spot perpetrators of abuse − that they're all "monsters," Sherry Hamby, an author, research professor and clinical psychologist, previously told USA TODAY. But "they don't have horns coming out of their heads and a lot of them can be quite charming when they want to be."

Despite evidence, ‘victim-blaming’ ensues

Even when there is evidence, victims are still subjected to ridicule and judgement – from asking why Cassie didn’t leave sooner, to calling her complicit in Combs’ alleged abuse. 

Ahead of the trial, Combs' lawyers had said that they wanted to show that there was "mutual violence in their relationship" and "hitting on both sides,” rather than denying Combs’ violence. And online, Ventura Fine’s testimony was met with victim-blaming, which happens when society or individuals place responsibility, or blame, on a victim for the harm they have experienced, rather than on the perpetrator. 

“All of this can be very discouraging (to other survivors), both in terms of reliving what happened to you, but also in terms of how society still isn’t fully supportive of people when they come forward, they can attack them, and so that can be really hard for survivors to see,” Jelgic says. 

According to a 2020 study by the National Coalition of Domestic Violence, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men experience sexual violence, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime. And approximately 1 in 5 female victims and 1 in 20 male victims need medical care as a result. The most dangerous time for a victim’s safety can be when they leave the abusive relationship; leaving an abusive partner or informing them of plans to leave can put a victim at a greater risk of intimate partner homicide or violence. 

Sexual violence experts also argue that claims of “mutual abuse” are a tactic used to shift blame away from the perpetrator, undermine power imbalances that facilitate domestic violence, and further the harmful stereotype of the “perfect victim.” 

“It's one person taking control over the other person and stripping them of their autonomy and stripping them of their independence,” says Bedera. “That's not something that can be done mutually.”

Are we all asking the wrong question? As Cassie shares graphic details in Diddy trial, here's what we often get wrong.

The response to Cassie’s testimony is a step in the right direction

Cassie being believed is a step in the right direction, but the way we discuss the case still matters. 

“We saw in the #MeToo movement, when people came forward and other people came forward because they were supported and believed,” Jeglic says. 

Spectators should have “gratitude for survivors that take on the sacrifice of sharing their story to try to keep other women safe,” Bedera adds. “We want this to be a society where it's easy for you to leave, not one where you're trapped, and that's a big part in our broader political discussions of the conversation we're having right now.”

For those affected by Cassie’s testimony and public commentary on it, self-care is first and foremost. If it's too painful to read about each and every detail of the trial, it’s OK to stay away from the media related to it. Jelgic also recommends using mindfulness exercises, talking to a counselor or friend, and practicing self-care by eating and sleeping properly. 

If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text "START" to 88788.