Everything you need to know about the unhinged Musk v Zuckerberg fight

Celebrity boxing matches are (unfortunately) nothing new. Social media stars such as Jake Paul, KSI, and FaZe Temperrr have turned the sport into bloated spectacles. However, in what is perhaps the final death knell in the entertainment-ification of, well, everything, tech overlords Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg have confirmed they will go head to head in the ring.

“Zuck v Musk fight will be live-streamed on X,” Musk tweeted on his newly named social media app X (RIP Twitter). “All proceeds will go to charity for veterans.”

Zuck v Musk fight will be live-streamed on 𝕏.

All proceeds will go to charity for veterans.

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) August 6, 2023

As X users jokingly warned the Tesla boss that Zuckerberg was trained in jiu-jitsu, Musk responded, “I’m up for a cage match if he is lol.”

Of course, sparring on social media is dystopian enough. But it seemed that neither knew when to stop. Zuckerberg agreed to the fight by replying: “Send me the location,” while telling his Meta employees that he was doubtful that the fight would actually take place, according to insider sources.
 

Either way, the 16th-richest man in the world (Zuckerberg) proceeded to propose a date, August 26, while the richest man in the world (Musk) proposed a location, Vegas Octagon. The internet immediately started meme-ing it “Thrilla In The Meta”, with Musk bragging about his signature move: “I have this great move that I call ‘The Walrus’, where I just lie on top of my opponent & do nothing,” before later admitting that, “I almost never work out, except for picking up my kids & throwing them in the air.” As for Zuckerberg, he won gold and silver medals in his first jiu-jitsu tournament last month.

Still, the two social media titans have failed to lock in a date, especially as Musk revealed he may need surgery before the cage fight. “I’m getting an MRI of my neck & upper back tomorrow,” Musk wrote on X. “May require surgery before the fight can happen. Will know this week.”
 

 

 

 

 

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Although Zuckerberg has continued to tease Musk, tweeting yesterday that he is “not holding his breath” over the proposed bout, in a new interview with Wired, Grimes, the mother of two of Musk’s children, said she believes it will go ahead, adding: “Elon is very strong, but [Zuckerberg] seems like he’s been training a ton.”

“I would prefer that it didn’t happen,” she added. “I love gladiatorial matches, but watching the father of your children in a physical fight is not the most pleasant feeling. But it’s not going to cause brain damage, so actually I think this is good.”

Considering social media is largely behind the rise in desperate virality stunts being performed by, well, everyone — it was only this week former Health Secretary Matt Hancock lip-synced to “I’m Just Ken” on TikTok  — perhaps it’s not so strange that the two most influential social media bosses are going head to head.
 

All in all, though, it feels a bit like the Ken fight scene in Barbie — you know, the one where they all break into a song and dance as they peacock one another. Even Grimes agrees. “Dudes need some outlet for trad masculinity. I told Sam Altman [CEO of OpenAI] there should be a follow-up, him against Demis [Hassabis, CEO of DeepMind].”

While Musk described the clash as “a civilised form of war” — adding that “men love war” when asked what the point of the fight was.

I can imagine Greta Gerwig rolling her eyes from here.