Confessions Of A Brazilian Waxer

You just never know what you’re going to be faced with when a client de-robes and jumps up onto the bed for their wax.

I’m a beautician in an affluent suburb of North Perth in WA that is well known for its beach bodies and beautiful people.

But even beautiful people have some seriously unglamorous things going on downstairs on waxing day. Here are some of the most shocking things I’ve seen.

The sweats

When you do a hard session in the gym, every bit of you sweats and I do mean EVERY bit. And that makes things very smelly down there. A feminine wipe does the trick though. Simple. Easy. Pop to the loo before the treat, a quick wipe of the lady garden and voila – you’re deodorised.

The post-coital wax

Way too many women go for a wax straight after sex. There’s that unmistakable sex stench; fluids, smells and a puffy muff. Absolutely putrid. All part of the day job though. Needless to say it’s a new wax stick for every application as double dipping really would be disgusting. I’ve only ever run a salon in this part of Perth and I do wonder if there’s as much sex going on all over the country.

That time of the month

The amount of women who hop up on the table for a Brazilian, open their legs and boom there’s a tampon string hanging out still baffles me. I mean, why? Why not just wait a few days? Eeeeeeeuuuuuwwww.

Code brown

The absolute worst situation has to be poo in the bum region though. A Brazilian involves removing hair from the bum region too. Please thoroughly clean yourself befondhand, especially if you’ve been for a number two since your last shower. Aren’t we all taught bum wiping in time for kindy? Come on!

Toot toot

In all her years waxing the vajayjays of North Perth, only one lady has ever farted. She rolled over for the bottom wax and poof … out in came. I managed not to laugh which was good because she was mortified.

Before you next head off to get buff and bare, spare a thought for your beauty therapist and make like the Prince of Bel-Air – stay fresh girls.