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8 year oldThe former Olympian and Paralympian told ITV he feels the same pain as Steenkamp’s other loved ones.
“I can smell the blood. I can feel the warmness of it on my hands,” Pistorius said.
“And to know that that’s your fault, that that’s what you’ve done.
“And I understand the pain people feel, that loved her and miss her. I feel that same pain. I feel that same hate for myself.”
In 2014 Pistorius was found guilty of culpable homicide in Steenkamp’s death, a verdict overturned by South Africa’s Supreme Court in December last year following his release into house arrest.
The athlete told ITV that if given a chance to redeem himself, he would like to give back to the community.
“I don’t want to go back to jail, I don’t want to have to waste my life sitting there, I would like to help the less fortunate, like I did in my past. I would like to believe that if Reeva could look down upon me, she would want me to live that life.”
Pistorius told ITV he “saw the pain” he had caused and said that most of his mutual friends with Steenkamp “don’t speak to me any more”.
He spoke about a woman screaming at him in a supermarket. He said he put his groceries down and left.
Pistorius maintains Steenkamp’s death was a tragic accident caused by his belief that an intruder was breaking into the couple’s apartment.
Prosecutors have dismissed Pistorius’s account as lies. They say the athlete murdered Steenkamp after a fight prompted by his jealousy over an ex-boyfriend.
They say she fled to the bathroom, locking herself in. She was pursued by Pistorius who first tried to smash the door down with a cricket bat and then returned with his gun, firing into the door from point-blank range.
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