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6 year oldPYEONGCHANG, South Korea – As an American I feel comfortable speaking for all the people of the world. As such, on behalf of all the people in the world I’d like to tell Norway to chill the hell out and stop kicking our Oslos all over the place.
You can’t turn around here at the Winter Olympics without finding: 1) smiling South Koreans, 2) servings of delicious kimchi and 3) another Norwegian winning a damn medal.
The total is at 25 medals and counting, including nine golds. No one else is really close. Germany is second with 17 and nine, respectively. The, ahem, mighty United States is at 10 and five. Just wait until our men’s hockey team gets cranking though. That’s the plan. Or something.
Twenty-five medals for a country of about 5.2 million, which means the entire world is losing to Metro Atlanta … if we kicked 500,000 people out of Metro Atlanta.
The Norwegians are winning in skiing. They are winning in skating. They are winning in jumping. They are certainly winning at drinking Akevitt to celebrate the skiing, skating and jumping.
There doesn’t appear to be much the world can do to stop the mighty Norwegians, who won 26 medals at the entire Sochi Games and 23 in Vancouver but are now threatening to lap the field while brandishing biathlon rifles.
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