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6 year oldANYONE who has been in a long-term relationship knows that when it comes to sex, sometimes those regular bedroom sessions can fall by the wayside in favour of chores, work and kids.
But US author Brittany Gibbons set time to have sex with her husband every night for a whole year — yep, 365 days. She said it didn’t divorce-proof her relationship but it boosted her confidence.
Brittany, explains in her story for Good House Keeping, that after her third child she didn’t like herself naked. “I kept the lights off during sex, hid my stomach and boobs inside a camisole, and I waited for my husband to leave the bedroom before barrelling from the shower to my closet to get dressed,” she wrote. She soon started to worry that her husband didn’t even know what she looked like nude anymore.
After speaking to a friend, she decided to have sex every day for a year as a way to force herself “into facing my body”. Her husband was a willing candidate.
So they had sex every day — minus when travel and a bout of the flu keep them apart. Gibbons explained it started off rough — some days she was just too tired and didn’t want to be touched, “but as the months passed, I started looking forward to it.”
Soon she said the loved-up connection of intimacy began showing outside the bedroom. “We were more romantic with each other, touching arms as we passed, kissing longer before work and not just the cold familiar peck. Our relationship was stronger and better when our intimacy was flourishing.”
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But what she found most surprising was how she began feeling about herself. By the end of the year she was happy to walk around naked — no more bolts from the shower to the bedroom.
“Having regular sex with my husband isn’t making my marriage divorce-proof or immune to infidelity or angst, but it is helping me feel confident enough in my skin to survive it if it does happen.”
So is this something all couples should do?
“There are a few couples, therapists and books that advocate having sex every day for a year as a way of improving your marriage or relationship,” says bodyandsoul.com.au relationship expert Dr Gabby.
“For many couples who have drifted apart, this can be a helpful way to reconnect, rebuild intimacy, re-prioritise time together as a couple. It can also improve confidence, increase a sense of security and heighten your desire to be part of a ‘team’ who are in life together.”
Dr Gabby notes that it might not be practical for everyone to have sex every day — but suggests trying it for at least a month and see what the benefits are.
“Once distant couples feel rejuvenated, happier, more affectionate, less stressed and see life as a ‘we’ not just ‘me’.”
It’s important to realise that sex doesn’t always have to be penetration; it can be a teenage-style make-out session in the kitchen or simply an act that shows how much you care.
As for Andy and Brittney, three years on they are still having sex every night.
This article originally appeared on Body and Soul and has been republished with permission.
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