Stephen Colbert Criticizes Trump’s Response to Attempted Bombings

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‘You Have No Whole Heart’

The attempted bomb attacks on prominent Democratic figures on Wednesday eventually drew a rebuke from President Trump, who spoke to reporters at the White House. But his first response was on Twitter, where he retweeted Vice President Mike Pence’s condemnation instead of writing his own.

I agree wholeheartedly! https://t.co/ndzu0A30vU

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 24, 2018

Stephen Colbert said that didn’t seem like presidential behavior.

“First of all, we fact checked that one and it doesn’t work out: You have no whole heart.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“And second, you’re the president! There’s been an attempted attack on two previous presidents today. This is the one time you can’t think of your own tweet? It reminds me of Lincoln’s first draft of the Gettysburg Address: ‘What that first guy said!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

James Corden and Seth Meyers also poked fun at Trump’s response.

“‘I agree wholeheartedly’ isn’t what you tweet when there’s been an attempted attack on former presidents. It’s what you tweet when your friend says the McRib should be available all year.” — JAMES CORDEN

“The White House issued a statement today condemning the suspicious packages sent to the homes of the Clintons, former President Obama and CNN’s New York City headquarters. Trump has ordered the F.B.I. to look at several suspects, including the Clintons, Obama and CNN.” — SETH MEYERS

Jimmy Kimmel made fun of Trump’s spoken condemnation, saying that it felt out of step with his usual rhetoric.

“The president for once said the right thing in response. He said, ‘We have to come together and send one very clear, strong, unmistakable message that threats or acts of violence have no place in America — except for at all of my rallies, all the time.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL

A winning ticket was announced in the Mega Millions lottery, which had a higher jackpot than ever before. Kimmel had some fun at the newly wealthy winner’s expense.

“The Mega Millions jackpot was $1.5 billion. A single winning ticket was sold in South Carolina, where the winner is planning on buying South Carolina.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“South Carolina’s one of the handful of states where the lottery winner is allowed to remain anonymous — or as anonymous as you can be when you suddenly have a fleet of gold Jet Skis on your front lawn.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

Samantha Bee’s Call for Solidarity

“Cis people, we need to stand with them. Transgender people are real and normal, and they deserve so much more than this. And hey, if Donald Trump really, really wants to pretend someone doesn’t exist, pick Ted Cruz. That’s how I get through the day.” — SAMANTHA BEE

The Punchiest Punchlines (Liquor Store Edition)

“According to a new poll, 38 percent of Americans say their finances have improved since President Trump has taken office — and almost all of them are liquor store owners.” — SETH MEYERS

“Yahoo has settled a two-year lawsuit after agreeing to pay $50 million to 200 million U.S. consumers whose information was released during a security breach. Said the consumers, ‘I still have a Yahoo account?’” — SETH MEYERS

“Someone finally won the Mega Millions lottery jackpot last night, and all $1.6 billion went to a single ticket. Nobody knows who the winner is, but here’s what I know: We could definitely be best friends. Call me.” — JAMES CORDEN

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