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Shawn Mendes addresses his sexuality during concert: Why his comments matter

 

Shawn Mendes is letting us in.

The singer talked about his sexuality at a concert Monday night – an oft-discussed topic among fans, casual onlookers and many members of the LGBTQ+ community. He said that "sexuality is such a beautifully complex thing, and it’s so hard to just put into boxes."

Mendes went on: "It always felt like such an intrusion on something very personal to me. Something that I was figuring out in myself, something that I had yet to discover and still have yet to discover ... The real truth about my life and my sexuality is that, man, I’m just figuring it out like everyone. I don’t really know sometimes and I know other times. And it feels really scary because we live in a society that has a lot to say about that. And I’m trying to be really brave and just allow myself to be a human and feel things. And that’s all I really want to say about that for now."

Celebrities regularly face speculation about their sexuality: Kit ConnorAriana GrandeTaylor Swift, to name a few. But should they, especially when they're still "figuring it out like everyone?" And do they need to say anything about it either way?

The short answer: No. Because the consequences, especially if someone is pushed out of the closet, could be dire. Take one spin through social media or Google anti-LGBTQ legislation in the U.S. and see why.

Shawn Mendes is discussing his sexuality.
Shawn Mendes is discussing his sexuality. Mike Coppola, Getty Images For MTV

Coming out isn’t actually over. Here’s why.

Speculating about sexuality is intrusive

Kit Connor, star of Netflix's "Heartstopper," came out as bisexual two years ago. But not the way he wanted.

"Back for a minute. I'm bi. congrats for forcing an 18 year old to out himself," Connor wrote in a short tweet. "I think some of you missed the point of the show. bye."

Gay coming-of-age drama "Heartstopper" focuses on a budding romance between doe-eyed high schoolers Nick and Charlie – played by Connor and Joe Locke, respectively – with Nick not sure of his sexuality. Fans accused the star of "queerbaiting" – when a straight, cisgender person seems to cash in on LGBTQ fashion, music, acting roles and more.

That debacle highlighted what happens when queerbaiting goes awry. "There is a vast difference between audiences raising legitimate concerns about exploitative, LGBTQ-mediated representations and queerbaiting and online trolling …" Melvin Williams, associate professor of communication and media studies at Pace University, previously told USA TODAY.

The same can be said for Mendes. For a star who hasn't actually said anything definitive about his sexuality, countless social media posts sure like talking about it with no evidence. Sure, anyone is free to discuss what they'd like privately. But talking about someone's sexuality in a public forum when they're not comfortable with it is a whole other kind of intrusion.

'Heartstopper' tackled teen sex.It sparked an important conversation.

Shawn Mendes doesn't owe us an answer

However, shouldn't celebrities expect questioning about their personal lives, unlike the average person?

Yes and no. "The nature of celebrity journalism is to glean as much information as possible about celebrities we arguably know too well," Williams explained. "Still, celebrities and non-celebrities do not owe the public a confirmation or explanation about their sexual orientations, and disclosures should remain a matter of choice."

Experts say people should never feel obligated to come out, especially when their safety is at risk. People also shouldn't come out if they're not ready. And "ideally, we are working to create a world without boxes or closets to 'come out of' because we would never be expected to be anything other than who we say we are," Moe Ari Brown, a licensed marriage and family therapist, previously told USA TODAY. "Until that shift happens, we must intentionally choose who we wish to invite into a celebration of our identities."

Shawn Mendes is letting us in. And he shouldn't feel pressured to tell us anything else.

Author: Editors Desk, David Oliver, USA TODAY

Source: USA Today

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